(Picture Source: theopenmind,com)

Depression.

Is a feeling of severe despondency and dejection.

As humans, life is a roller coaster, we have our ups and downs. Sometimes, we might hear people say "I'm depressed". But most of the time it is due to certain situation that they are facing, such as, their work, their spouse, their studies etc. Most of the time, the word "I'm depressed" means "I'm fed up and tired!". 

Depression is a very common psychological issue that can happen to anyone. But for some people, depression is a battle, a war that never seems to end. Depression is not something to be taken lightly, it is a real illness that is able to effect a person's well being. Depression is also not an issue that "it's all in the mind" or "all in your head". Furthermore, it is also not something that people can just snapped out it.

Saying to someone who has depression "What have you got to be depressed about? You have a great life!" , is the same as saying to an asthmatic " What do you mean you can't breathe? There's lots of air in here!"
-Anonymous 

At the age of 14, my family and I had encounter an unfortunate and terrifying nightmare. Myself , along side with my mother and sister were carjacked in front of my own home just 2 days before my finals. Within 3 minutes, the gang of hijackers managed to hurl us out of the car and hijack my mother's car. We were all in shocked as we slowly came back to our senses and digest what was actually happening. Little did I know that that awful experience was the starting point of my battle with depression..

Most of the time, depression happens without you even realising it. There are normally factors or situation that contributed to depression such as stress, grief, certain medical illness, substance abuse, or a traumatic incident.

Symptoms of Depression:

• Feeling of helplessness/hopelessness/worthlessness
• Feeling depress (mood) during most of the day especially during the morning
• Indecisiveness or Impaired concentration
• Fatigue, decrease in energy
• Insomnia or excessive sleeping
• Easily irritated
• Feeling restless/agitated
• Diminished in interest in most activities
• Persistent sad, anxious or empty (feeling)
• Thoughts of suicide/attempts
• Change in appetite/weight

After the incident, I became really moody, depress and was always fearful. I just couldn't control my emotions any longer. Even though I wanted to be happy but my mind and my heart just wasn't in sync. Soon depression started leading me into a darker path which was anxiety disorder. I became very anxious of my surroundings and my heart was always full of anxiety. While walking along the street, I sometimes hallucinate that someone was going to rob me, was holding a knife, or even kill me. I became so subconscious that I couldn't think properly. My anxiety grew and grew each day and slowly I started to develop the beginning stages of OCD, Obsessive-compulsive disorder. I remember needing to on and off my light switch a couple of times before heading out; reaching back into my bag or pocket to check my purse back and forth even though I know that my purse is in my bag; so on and so forth. In my mind, if I do not redo these steps my heart will not be at ease and I will began to feel anxious as if something will go wrong. 

How I got through depression

Having realise that I couldn't let depression take over my life, I have decided to fight this battle. Even though battling depression is a challenge, but i decided to take a shot in the dark. I thank God that I did not have to seek any medications or converse with a physiologist. I hope these methods will be able to help you in this battle just as how it helped me got through my battle with depression.

1. Acknowledging that you have depression

(Picture Source: Flickr, Josh's)

Back then when I was suffering from depression, I was living a life of denial. I refuse to admit that I have depression even though it was being thrown at my face. Without acknowledging that you have depression you would not be able to receive help.

2. Talk to someone who is patient and would listen to what you are about to say

(Picture Source: youne.com)

When I was fighting depression, I was really blessed to have an amazing family, youth leader and my best friend along side me. I sometimes gets very moody or even angry at them out of no reason, but they did not choose to neglect me or walk away but instead, they were there supporting me every step of the way. When you have someone to talk to, somehow you will feel as if a heavy load was being lifted up of your shoulder and you will feel more satisfied even if it's just for a little while.

3. Discover the Root of your problem

(Picture Source: arborwood.ca)

This might not happen to everyone, but it's worth a shot. Sometimes by  discovering the root of your depression, you will start to feel that there is closure to your problems. For me, I only manage to discover my root after years of battling with depression. Finding the root is not always easy, just like I said before, because sometimes in life you might be suffering from depression without even realising it! 

4. Keep your mind occupied 

(Picture Source: Tumblr, A warm place within)

This is very important especially if you're at the beginning stages of fighting depression. Back then, when my mind was unoccupied my mind will tend to wander and negative thoughts would start to come in and disturb my train of thoughts, leading me to sink back into depression. You do not want to have any room in your mind for any fearful, negative or upsetting thoughts! What I did then was, I took up reading as a hobby and I started drawing my own comic books. Furthermore, I find that music (especially upbeat music) is also a pretty good remedy to occupying your mind because sometimes it helps to take you away from reality.

(Picture Source: Tumblr, putting my defences up)

5. Think positive

(Picture Source: Tumblr, Fashion Dictator)

I know it's hard to do, but trying to think positive can be a real challenge at first but once you get a hang of it everything will start falling back into place. Furthermore, you will feel like a much happier person on earth! #True story.

6. Socialize

(Picture Source: Tumblr, Kpop & Kdrama)

If you feel like you are sinking back into your gloomy thought, just like point number 4, instead of staying at home or seclude yourself within your own four walls, go grab a coffee or watch a movie with your friends or family. This helps as it will keep your mind active in other aspect rather than getting trap in your train of thoughts.

7. Allowed yourself to be less perfect, Don't be too Hard on yourself

(Picture Source: psych2go.net)

Nobody in this world is perfect, which includes people like you and me. Many depress people are perfectionist (the sad reality). When they felt as if what they did was not good enough they will sink back into depress mode. Don't beat yourself up. So if you did not score a Distinction on your exam, it's okay, don't torture yourself because what's done is done (no offences). As they all say "Failure is the first step to success".

8. Stop with the "What ifs?" scenarios

"What if I fell down and broke my ankle?"

"What if I got robbed?"

"What if the world is about to end tomorrow?"

"What if??"

(Picture Source: Tumblr, RoosERWT)

This used to happen to me so very often when I was depress. I used to give myself unnecessary anxiety and stress. I mean all of us can't predict the future, unless if you're like "That's so Raven". Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking you to not be aware of your surroundings, we still have to be careful but don't let the "What Ifs" get the best out of you and make you into a worrying vending machine.

9. Have a Journal/Gratitude Journal

(Picture Source: Blogpsot, Colouring Outside The Lines)

Having a journal is a good start if you're battling depression. A journal is like an outlet and is also like talking to a person but in hand written words. If you're feeling really unhappy about certain matters, you can list it down in your journal, it will help you ease your mind. One other method that I find it pretty effective is writing down things that you're grateful for. Instead of expressing your feelings, try writing things that you thank God for such as:

1. I'm thankful for being able to have 3 meals today

2. I'm thankful for having a hot shower

Sometimes, being thankful is just the right remedy to easing depression.

10. Don't EVER Give Up

(Picture Source: gifstumblr)

Sometimes depression might feel like a never ending battle. Sometimes you just feel like hiding in your closet and never again having to face the world. This is what depression wants you to do! Depression is like a criminal that is running free and wild while robbing people's joy and happiness away from them. This is NOT what our minds are design to do. At times, if you're just so tired of everything, it is okay to take a rest and give yourself some time out and then do something fun and worthwhile. But giving up is never an option with depression! 

*The list above are ways of how I handled depression, it might vary for certain people. If you're still struggling with depression it is also encourage to seek a doctor or a psychologies.*

You can't expect an unfit person to run a 40 kilometer marathon, they need to invest time and sufficient training in order to take up the challenge. Just like depression, you can't expect it to go away immediately, everything requires time and perseverance. 

(Picture Source: Elite Daily)

It took me a total of 5 years or so to finally escape from the grasp of depression. Even though from time to time it will relapse, but that doesn't stop me from trying my best to be the happiest I can be. When I was finally free from the curse, I was a much happier person and I realise that there is more to life than being upset and unhappy. The reason I wanted to share my story is because fighting depression is not impossible, you just need to take that courageous step out of the undesigned path and foiled it's plan before it destroys you.

Always Keep The Faith in Believing For a Better Tomorrow

(Picture Source: rebloggy, zelody)

Current Playlist: Roger Rabbit, Sleeping with Sirens

Picture Source: Malaysian History Blog

The beautiful streets of Malacca! Where culture, history and food are all found in one place!

Malacca is a place of heritage, and is also a place that is famously known for their nyonya cuisine. (a combination of Chinese and Siam culture)

We first arrive at Malacca around 10am, and was checked into our cozy accommodation opposite the river near Jonker Street. There were a total of 20 of us in this trip, and having only 2 toilet for 20 people is NOT EASY, the toilet was always occupied! But still, we manage to get by. Well I guess that's the fun of it, right?

(Credits to @rxhun7er)

My friends and I were mainly travelling around the Jonker Street, but due to it being the beginning of the week, we weren't able to visit the night market at Jonker Street. (Night markets are only open during the weekends)

(Picture source: Panoramio, Maxpixel) Jonker Night Market

Malacca is also known as one of the food paradises in Malaysia, from the nyonya laksa to the all time favourite Malacca cendol, it is definitely a place you do not want to miss!

(Photo Credits to @hike.forfood) Nyonya Laksa and Cendol at Jonker 88, 
*a word of caution, it's spicy stuff!

(Credits to @eyang_chong) Malacca Cendol

I remember on the first night of the trip, my friends and I were on our way to the famous Satay Celup at Capitol Satay Celup that is located in Lorong Bukit Cina. But sadly on my way there, due to my clumsiness, I accidentally knocked my pinky toe into the raw bricks along the bridge. My pinky was pretty badly hurt and I started to panic. Thanks to my good friends, they were there to help me access the situation and some of them went to the near by convenient store to get some Chinese herbs and cotton pads for my poor pinky. This was definitely a moment to remember, as I was moaning in pain, I manage to attract some on lookers and they were staring at my wound while shaking their heads. What a beautiful sight! (Sense my sarcasm?)

(Credits to @hike.forfood) Satay Celup in Lorong Bukit Cina

I was blessed that one of my best friend was a St John (first aid) student and she managed to clean my wound and after all the teeth grinding and moaning (due to the herb) I was up and ready and we decided to enjoy our meal at the Capitol Satay Celup.

After dinner, my friends and I decided to drop by Bistro Year 1673. It's was a wonderful time of joy  and laughter as my friends were being called up on stage to sing.

The following day, we decided to drop by a couple other restaurants such as Chung Wah's famous chicken rice ball, the famous Beef Noodle Restoran Sup Lembu Tangkak, and the fancy Crepe Cake Nadeja.

(Credits to @hike.forfood) The Famous Beef Noodle

(Credits to @hike.forfood) Crepe Cake at Nadeja

Despite the horrible humid weather, the unfortunate accident and it no being a weekend, Malacca was pretty enjoyable especially if you were to be spending your time with friends that were just as crazy as you (or worst). It was definitely a trip worth remembering!

(Credits to @eyang_chong)

For this lookbook I was inspired by Film Noir (Black film/cinema) from the 1900s. The films during that period were mainly resulted from the tensions and insecurities during that period of time (1940s to 1950s)

Photographer: Felix Kwan

Model: Hanna Marie

Styling and Garments: CY; Crystal Yeoh

Hair and Make Up: Holly Kate Evans

©  All Rights reserved

(Picture Source: Vogue, atrl) Gabrielle Bonheus Chanel; Coco Chanel

"In order to be irreplaceable one must be different"

-Coco Chanel

Coco Chanel, a rebel, a fashion icon and a legend! Gabrielle Bonheus Chanel is a French designer that is famously known for making big drastic changes in our current world of fashion, thus became one of the key figures of the 20th century!

If you're wondering what did Coco Chanel do that made her soooooo inspiring and important here are a list of things that the Fashion Icon did that definitely made a lasting impression in the fashion industry.

1. Introducing Jersey fabric in Women's Fashion

 (Picture Source: Nouvellegamine, The Wall Street Journal) "FORD" Dress by Chanel, Photographed by Karl Lagerfeld

During World War I, fabric was expensive and was getting harder and harder to get because most of the fabrics were used to make soldier's uniforms. Because of her financial situation, Chanel decided to use jersey to create her clothing due to it's low cost. Her choice of fabric shocked many, because back then Jersey was only used to produce Men's Undergarment! Imagine wearing that fabric and thinking about men's undies! Jersey was a suitable fabric because it has good drape and it is a very comfortable fabric. Furthermore, her design manage to free the female body from the uncomfortable corset!

2. Pants, pants and more pants!

Picture Source: Miss by Gabriella, Wjxu's Blog

When men was sent to war, women had to replace men at the workplace which also means more female factory workers! And dresses did not help women at work at all! Being a rebel, Coco Chanel decided to wear pants at a beach resort and was also the first woman ever to wear trousers in public. If it wasn't for Chanel, us, girls would have not been able to wear pants and trouser and I wouldn't be wearing them now!

"I gave back to women's body his freedom, this body was sweating in clothes parade, lace, corsets, underwear, upholster."

-Coco Chanel

3. Sun Tanning

Picture Source: evelinecharles.com

It was pretty much an accident, but for Chanel everything she did, women followed! During the 20th century, female are preferred to have pale and fair skin. If you have brown skin you were considered to be associated with the lower classes. In 1923, Chanel accidentally got herself tanned while cruising on the French Riviera and her friends admired her glowing skin and BAMM, suntanned suddenly became a sign of wealth and beauty. 

4. The Perfume aka Chanel no.5

Picture Source: The Indepentent, Adclassix.com

Chanel was a very picky woman, she often complained about other women's body odour. In 1920, Chanel met a a perfumer named Ernest Beaux. Beaus managed to come up with 10 different samples for Chanel and they were numbered from 1 to 5 and 20 to 24 accordingly. Chanel picked the perfume labeled number 5 and thus it was later released in 1921, entitles Chanel no.5.

5. Costume Jewellery

Picture Source: Pinterest Tiana Campuzano, The Hill Hangout

Even though Paul Poiret was the first designer to use costume jewellery, but it was Chanel's fake pearls and glittering gemstones that took the cake. Chanel always believed that it is best to have a pile of imitation jewels than to stick with only on or two expensive jewellery. 

6. The LBD (Little Black Dress)

Picture Source: Pinterest Tess Thompson, Pinterest Malavika Patel, imgkid.com

Black, was not you typical fashion palette back in the early 1900s. Black was regarded as an attire of mourning in the West and during Queen Victoria's reign in England, the Queen spend almost half of her life wearing black dresses as mourning clothing due to her husband's death. During World War I, women wear adjusted to wearing black mourning attire as a result of economic constraints and as a need to be productive and mobile at work. In 1926, Chanel designed the first ever LBD with slashed neckline, short dress with diagonal pin-tucks made out of Crepe De Chine. In Chanel's point of view, black is the only appropriate colour for  good economically perfect attire. 

7. The Chanel Suit

Picture Source: Pinterest House of Marbury, Cheltenham Fashion Week

The Chanel suit was the first suit ever to borrow designs and structures from menswear. During the 1940s and 50s, Dior released a new design called the "New Look" an example? Cinderella. Chanel hated the look and during the 2nd World War, again, women were back at the workplace and Chanel found that the "New Look" was unsuitable for the post-war modern women. In 1954, Chanel reintroduced the Chanel suit back to the public and it was the perfect outfit for the post-war women who are trying to build a career in the male-dominated workplace. The Chanel Suit made a mark in history when Jackie Kennedy wore this suit on the day her husband, President John F. Kennedy, was assassinated.

(Picture Source: A.G. Nauia Couture) Jackie Kennedy wearing the Chanel Suit on the day her husband, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated.

Picture Source: Huffingtonpost

At one point in life, I used to have a really round and bloated face especially during college and university. My face was so bloated that some of my friends actually called me a chipmunk! During that time, I was really subconscious and I always said to myself, "Hey since you are born with this face you might as well live with it" as a way of comfort. But lately I have found a way to have a much slimmer face without costing much money (or maybe none at all!) 

It roughly took me close to a month to actually see major improvements. It might take a longer or shorter time for you. So here are the list of things that I actually did to achieve a slimmer face.

Picture Source: Pinterest, Recipe file

1.Say NO to Sodium
I know it's tempting! During College and University, I was really stressed out especially during the end of each semester. During that period, I will take my chances to drop by the nearest convenient store and grab myself some snacks and chips and eat my till my heart's content while tuning into my favourite drama series. This is a major no no!  Sodium at night, not only is it bad for your health, but it causes your face to bloat especially the next day!

Picture Source: Life Martini, Thena Sivakumar

2. Sleeping with two pillows 

Some of you might have heard of it but I find this method to be equally affective. What I normally do at night, is that I layer two pillows on top of each other and sleep. It might require sometime of getting used to, especially if you're used to sleeping with only one pillow. The reason behind this is because the height of the pillow helps to avoid the water fluid in your body from going up to your face that cause puffiness. Furthermore, for those that has a habit of snoring, sleeping with two pillows helps to decrease the chance of snoring/decrease your volume. This is because it helps to keep your tongue from falling back and blocking your throat.

Picture Source: Beauty High, Kristin Brooker

3. Drink a cup of cold water/ Splashing your face with cold water  

Drink or splashing your face with cold water in the morning helps to reduce puffiness in the morning. The reason behind this is because the cold water helps to constrict your blood vessels thus reduces puffiness. Yay Cold water!

Picture Source: Healthfitnessrevolution

4. Drink Plenty of Water During the Day!

I'm sure you heard it very so often, but water plays a major part in getting a sharper face! Dehydration can enlarge your blood vessels that leads to water retention that causes certain part especially the face to get puffy!